A 101 guide to Virtual Dating

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Virtual date
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As we all know majority of the social distancing measures are still in place in an effort to curb the spread of the ongoing coronavirus. As a result, dating apps have reported an increase in messages sent and matches made. After all, for all the single people out there quarantining at home. Lockdown may seem like the perfect opportunity to finally dedicate time to finding a significant other – or at least dating. However, while dating apps may provide companionship and comfort, through virtual relationships built during this period. Relationship experts warn that not everyone should be using the platforms amid the pandemic.

Date Nights

Date nights still matter a lot in quarantine, as relationships can’t be just based on text messages. Even while you are at home, you’re moving in parallel and in your own separate worlds, working, doing chores, calling friends. On a date, you focus on each other totally. A one-on-one intimacy of a designated date night is valuable — even when it calls for virtual drinks.

It is extremely important that you take out time for each other if you want to take things to the next level post quarantine. Also, this is the best time to build something as both the people involved have time that can be invested in a valuable relationship. So, what are you waiting for. Pick up the phone and set up a virtual date.

Virtual date
Jonathan Borba

Virtual Dating

According to licensed clinical psychologist, Dr Jennifer B Rhodes who is a dating/relationship coach and founder of Rapport Relationships, the only people that should be using dating apps right now are those who are in a good place mentally and emotionally, and who were in a good place before the pandemic began. Speaking to a daily, Rhodes said, “If you have been actively working on yourself and you’re in a good place, and you go on Bumble or Tinder and you meet someone, you’re going to treat Zoom as a coffee date.” But, if you’re swiping out of “boredom rather than the mindful intent of developing a relationship,” the behaviour is likely an avoidance tactic.

When To Avoid

She further explains that it is normal human nature to become avoidant. Rhodes said, “Right now most of us are fearful, and to cope we usually distract ourselves. So it’s using online dating so you don’t think about how scared you are.” According to her, this is especially true if you were super stressed before the pandemic began. In this case time should be dedicated to focusing on self-love and self-care. “If you were super stressed, this is not the time to be online dating. You should be taking care of yourself and this is a time to rest,” she adds. She highly recommends using this time to find out what actually makes you happy. “And then you are in a good place to date after,” Rhodes added.

Virtual date
Taylor Hernandez

Experts Opinions

Rachel A Sussman, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and founder of Sussman Counselling, totally echoes Rhodes’ thoughts. “For singles, it’s complicated,” she says, explaining that “if an individual has had dating fatigue or dating burnout,” quarantine should be used to recharge and not think about dating. “If you were sick of dating, this is a good time to focus on yourself,” she said.

However, she highlights that those who do take a break during this time to prioritise themselves should “get back out there post-corona”. While quarantine may not be the best time for some people to online date. Rhodes acknowledged that for those who are “doing it mindfully,” it’s a “great time because you can explore”.

Wedding Affair agrees ” Do it mindfully, if you so wish to explore.”

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