Emotional intelligence in a relationship is a highly underrated quality in your partner that you look for. This is a quality that can actually act as a key to quite successful, long-term relationships. We definitely recommend looking for or training your partner and yourself in building that emotional quotient. Wedding Affair mentions some pointers that may help to clear your mind on emotional intimacy.
A clear idea of your needs
Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Allison Cohen tells psycom about the importance of having a clear idea of your needs. “We get further and further away from finding true happiness when we look for the things we think we ‘should’ go after instead of the things that are core to our unique personalities,” she adds. Start by identifying your needs when it comes to romance and establishing your relationship goals. What do you want to give and what do you want to get out of a partnership? When you have a firm grip on what you want, you can look realistically at your own behaviour patterns to see if they are helping or hurting your search for lasting love, and take steps to make changes, if necessary.
Accepting all kinds of feelings
We’re not always delighted by the discoveries we make about the person we love, but when it comes to emotions, it’s necessary to accept them all. Being in love doesn’t mean never feeling angry, disappointed, hurt, or jealous. How you act on your emotions is up to you; what’s important is that you actually feel them. Many relationships have been ruined by blame, and millions of couples have missed out on deep intimacy because of shame. Both are cruel remainders of unfelt anger, fear, and anxiety. If you’ve done the work of building EQ, you’ll experience the emotions and get on with your life together. (helpguide)
If you have negative emotions that you need to release, find a person you trust to talk with. Releasing your feelings will help you gain clarity on what the real issues are and then you can discuss them like an adult. Sometimes people won’t answer your questions or acknowledge your feelings. If they don’t and you want some input from them, ask for it.
Breaking out from the routine
With how busy life gets, it’s easy to hit a comfort zone plateau in which we move past each other simply trying to scratch items off our to-do lists. This is in stark contrast to the beginning of a relationship, when everything we do seems new and exciting, and when we go above and beyond.
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