We’ve all had relationships that speak to certain emotions within us that eventually help to create the tonality of its course. Oftentimes, we wait until events or circumstances spark specific conversations we would otherwise avoid having. Do you and your partner avoid certain topics because the conversation will become heated? Maybe you dread discussing parenting techniques or how much services for your child cost. Or maybe if you see some future together or not! These tips by Wedding Affair can help ease tough talks and conversations.
Ritualize deep conversation
Looking for deep things to talk about with your sig other? You’re in luck. We suggest creating a weekly ritual of asking these questions – try it on a Friday night to recap the week. You can spiral off into other topics, but the point is to start a real conversation and learn more about your partner.
The cringe-worthy first kiss story, which involves braces and a bloody lip, will give you two a good laugh together. It’s tit-for-tat, however, so be prepared to dish out your most cringe-worthy tale once bae shares theirs. The best convo topics are open-ended. They are rooted in genuine curiosity and the desire to understand.
Whether you’re quarantining with your bae like some of your fave celebs, or you’re FaceTiming with them every night before bed, chances are, at this point, you may be struggling to find things to talk about. It’s totally normal, I mean, our days are the same every day and our conversations reflect that: How was your Zoom class today? What did you eat for dinner? What movie are you watching on Netflix tonight?
If you’re in the midst of a conflict, you may be tempted to follow the “count to ten” rule. If that is done within a few moments or even minutes, it allows for your emotions to cool off and for your mind to focus and possibly be more present. However, if “10 seconds” turns into an afternoon (or longer), this borders on avoidance behaviour. Give yourself time to collect yourself, but don’t allow your arguments to stay “on pause” for so long that your partner feels as though they are left holding an emotional bag.
It’s surprisingly difficult to be fully present while engaging in conversation with someone else — especially when the situation is tense. When speaking with your partner about an important topic or a point of conflict, it’s critical to practice active listening. Avoid distractions, and make sure actually to listen to your partner. This means attending to their words and the context in which they are spoken, and not using the time you’re not talking just to formulate how you’re going to rebut their statements.
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