It takes time and it can get awkward. But there are still ways to learn what you truly enjoy during sex. Keep reading to find out.
Let’s face it, we all have had our fair share of awkward moments in the name of ‘exploration’, which is basically trying to figure out what one enjoys or not in bed. The process is long, full of awkward moments, a lot of self-doubt and most importantly, a whole lot of confusion.
Sexual pleasure is a deeply personal factor. It varies from person to person; there is no strict guidebook to know what you should or must enjoy during sex. But if you try, you can know what you actually enjoy during sex, beyond any textbook erotica. So if you have been waiting for a while to find out what ‘great sex’ means to you, the kind of sex that makes you grin afterwards, you have come to the right place.
Team Wedding Affair has reached out to the experts to find ways to discover what you enjoy during sex. So, ready to level up the pleasure game?
Get Your Hands-on (Literally)
The road to pleasure always starts with your own body. Masturbation isn’t only about solo entertainment, it is an empowering way to learn what you enjoy during sex. This is the perfect way to explore your body in a safe space. Zero awkwardness, tons of possibilities.
Try different strokes, pressure, rhythm, positions and even fantasies. It doesn’t have to be dull either. Set the mood with some lighting, music and romance yourself. Use some toys, try the kinks you want to try. If anything makes your toes curl, take notes in that journal. Discovering the little things by yourself gives you a push before trying it with a partner.
Read Also: Sexting 101: Master the Art of Flirty Texts!
Fantasies Are Clues, Not Commitments
Your fantasies aren’t weird—they are gold mines. Fantasies are simply the window to your desires. But they don’t necessarily replicate the exact thing you want in intimacy. Meaning, you don’t have to act out all of your fantasies in real life, unless you want to.
Fantasies show you the theme that you’re probably into—like control, vulnerability, adventure, taboo or intimacy. Focus on what you’re dreaming about. Is it being in control? Or is it being out of control? Forbidden fruit? Risky business? Or maybe slow and sweet?
Talk About It, No Matter How Awkward
First things first, talk to yourself. That’s the only way to start without any shame or filters. Ask yourself the awkward questions and hear them out loud, “Do I actually like that move or am I just pretending to?”
Once you are sure by yourself, it’s time to take the conversation further—this time with your partner. You don’t need to make a well-designed PPT to present your point to them. Ask them simple, unfiltered questions, starting with a “I am curious to try___” or “I love when you___.” Share your fantasies with them, no matter how awkward it may sound in your head. It is actually kind of hot, it shows that you are curious and ready to explore.
Experiment at Your Own Pace
Sex is not about the checklist that you are supposed to try before midnight. It is more about a little bit of experimentation. You won’t know what you like until you try it, and that’s okay. Do not force yourself to learn anything ASAP. Instead, take it slow and try one thing at a time.
Explore at your own speed, you don’t need to follow anyone else. Test out a new position, try a brand new toy, introduce roleplay or dirty talk into your relationship—when you feel like it. These are not must-do chores, these are options. Think of it less like a checklist and more like a “sex menu”; hot, spicy and ready to be served.
Read Also: Shocking Sex Myths Couples Still Believe—Debunked!
Sex is supposed to be fun, not some formula from your maths book. When you stop worrying about your performance and start being curious about your (and your partner’s) pleasure, that’s when the real fun begins. So take your time, trust your guts and start exploring!
Follow Wedding Affair for more love and relationship advice.
