How To Keep The Spark Alive After Marriage?

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How to bring the spark back FI
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How To Keep The Spark Alive After Marriage?

The terms ‘settling down’, ‘marital bliss’ and ‘happily ever after’ start sounding mundane a few years into marriage. The idea of routine doesn’t feel as interesting as when you were craving it while you were young. The truth is, couples one time or another are bound to feel that there is ‘something missing’ or ‘things were so exciting in the beginning’. While this is no one’s fault, your love life is such that it inevitably takes a turn. But not all hope is lost, and the only thing quite missing from your relationship is the excitement of something new. It’s like an equation, perhaps, and we’re here to help you find that missing variable.

Talk about your feelings

Talk about your feelings
Talk about your feelings

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Yes, we all know effective communication is the key. But do we really understand what healthy communication is? It’s not just sitting down and hearing your partner talk-it’s about honestly putting effort into understanding their feelings. Communication is more about talking rather than complaining and it’s about finding a solution together. It also depends on how you’re portraying your thoughts. If you feel your relationship has hit a monotonous course and you just start ranting about it to your spouse, that’s only going to lead towards fight sparks- not the kind you’re looking for. Rather, sit down with them and explain if you’d like to try out something new with them indoors or outdoors, depending on you.

The key to sharing your feelings in a productive manner is to try and keep the negativity out of it for as long as you can.

Share your hobbies

Share Your Hobbies
Share Your Hobbies

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Marrying someone doesn’t mean that you need to completely dissolve your individuality. But at the same time, sharing a hobby or two doesn’t hurt anyone. If your spouse likes gardening, try and be a part of it. It can be anything from sports to reading to shopping even. And they return the favour by being a part of any recreational activity you like.  If you can find a common ground where you both share your time, apart from the chaos of life­– just enjoying yourselves ­– voilà ­– half of your work is done right there.

Make a point to plan a date night

 Plan A Date Night to get the spark back
Plan A Date Night

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So there is a joke that goes around-

A wife asks the husband- ‘You don’t put in the same effort as you used to in the beginning’

And the husband replies- ‘That was a free trial, honey.’

My point is- free trial or not- the one way to keep the spark alive is to treat your partner the same way you did in the beginning when you were trying to impress them. Effort counts- Always!

So you can plan a date night including movies or candlelight dinner, or take them for a picnic dinner outdoors- under the stars. The last one is probably the most foolproof one. The ideas regarding date nights are endless and you probably know what your partner likes and must be anticipating. In essence, you need to plan it, without fail, every week to ensure that there is that one day that you both look forward to and plan in advance for. The one day where you can sit and talk and soak in the romance- away from the exhaustion of work and duties.

Be Playful

Young couple cooking together at home to gain the spark back
Couple sharing and cooking together.

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The most intimate people are the ones that can joke around together. It is often said that Cleopatra made a point to make her husband laugh every morning so that he would carry the feeling of happiness and positivity with him throughout the day and associate her with it.

This doesn’t mean you’ve to take out a page-long list of jokes and read them to her every morning. Instead, just be with them as you would be with your friends and play around, making them laugh or even smile. It’s sure enough to bring that spark back.

It’s in the little details, a flower for no reason, giving them a proper goodbye before you both leave for work, and lastly, being honest about yourself and your feelings. The one thing to understand is- bringing the spark back is not necessarily rocket science. Maybe more like a recipe- a pinch of love, a gallon of understanding and loads of effort every day to make your relationship blossom.