Let’s just put it out there: Sex is awesome — once you figure out how to do it right; just don’t expect to master it in one go. I dated my husband for about four years before we got married and during our courtship period, we spent a lot of time in bed. Judging by the same, I thought our sex life after marriage will remain as active as ever — which it actually did. The idea of having the love of my life as my husband brought in another level of excitement and passion in me. But this titillating sex life didn’t last that long.
It isn’t that I don’t find him attractive anymore, to me he is the sexiest man alive. I’ve seen women checking him out when they think I’m not looking. Honestly, ladies, you don’t have to sneak a peek. I don’t mind if you stare. That said, there are times when I just don’t feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with Neil (See? Even his name spells sexy). I can’t lie and say this is always okay with him. But the fact is, there are also plenty of nights when he’s not in the mood for sex. So, there are times when a few days go by when there’s no action between the sheets.
Sometimes you may go without sex for a long time — and that’s totally okay. Sexless periods are completely natural for a married couple. A dry spell isn’t a sign that you’ve lost your zing or that you’ll never have the pleasure of sex again. It simply means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. I don’t know about you, but between 8 A.M. meetings and 3 A.M. feedings, I sometimes crave sleep.
Stop kidding yourself, no one in this entire world is doing it as often as the popular culture has had us believed. So, instead of worrying about how much you think you “should” be having sex, focus on figuring out what makes you happy and find your own rhythm. The key is to make sure that even if you’re not doing “it,” you’re still doing something — touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling. When it comes to me, my heart gets all warm and mushy when my dear husband rubs my feet after a long, tiring day. His concern for me makes me feel happy about our relationship. He may not be anywhere near my G-spot, but that little bit of attention keeps us connected, even when we’re not having spine-tingling sex.