It’s all about to get very real. Are you ready for the much-dreaded premarital communication?
Getting married is exciting, isn’t it? Work, plan wedding, eat, sleep and repeat–sounds just about right? Well, we all thought so. With the whirlwind of wedding planning, one thing often gets ignored, and that is premarital communication. But ask any married couple and they will tell you how important it is to communicate a few things before marriage.
While you don’t need to draft out your entire future before saying “I do”, there are certainly a few things that you cannot miss on asking in order to make sure there is no confusion or regret later. These are important discussions that can be a little uncomfortable but are absolutely necessary to clear out before starting a life together. Keeping in mind the importance of premarital communication, here are 5 things you should discuss before tying the knot.
The Money Matter
There’s a reason this is the first thing on our list of premarital communication topics. As two people are planning to start a life together, naturally finance comes into play. Discuss your spending habits, the expenses, the budgeting, and the lifestyles you are expecting and can afford. Knowing who is going to pay the bills beforehand can save you from a lot of conflicts after getting married. You should also take into account the really uncomfortable topics such as who gets what in case of separation, if it is okay or not to lend out money to friends and family etc.
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Political and Religious Beliefs
The next thing you should definitely discuss before marriage is your core values, including your beliefs in religion and politics. Do you share the same values or do your core values differ a lot from each other? These questions may seem unnecessary now, but the truth is that these are going to shape your future together. You have to decide how you will navigate your differences and how you will raise your children. In case of strong differences, you better have that premarital communication now.
Living Situation & Goals for the Future
Imagine ten years after your wedding you find out that you and your spouse have completely different visions for an ideal life. What a nightmare, right? This is why the next thing on our list of premarital communication is future vision and living situation. Discuss with your partner what your dream future looks like, where you want to end up living in future and what are your career goals. It’s very important to find a balance in your shared vision in order to have a happy and successful married life.
Children & Parenting
Family planning should be another major part of premarital communication. As a couple, it is important to make sure that both of you are on the same page in terms of building a family together. Don’t just assume that your partner wants kids just because it’s a norm or vice versa. Sit together and ask questions like–do you want kids? If yes, how many? If no–why and what’s the solution? How do you envision your parenting style? It is also important to know how your partner was brought up, as upbringing plays a major role in one’s parenting style.
Family and In-Laws
When you marry someone, you’re not only marrying that person, you are marrying their family in a way. But it is important to know beforehand about managing families and in-laws post-marriage before sealing the deal as if not taken care of, things can get pretty nasty in this matter. So, you should definitely have premarital communication with your partner about managing family relationships, future obligations, expected interactions in the future and how much interference is okay. This also includes discussing holidays and visits, so that the planning goes smoothly later.
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No matter how prepared you are, there will always be that one percent chance that things can go south. But what you can do is be prepared as much as possible, and that starts with premarital communication. So go ahead, talk to your partner and plan a happy future together. Follow Wedding Affair for more love and relationship advice.
