Relationships Winning or Losing?
Sitting on the balcony, on the new faux grass, they had bought last weekend- sat Naman and Anita. Neither said a word, the air felt heavier than the Iron man statue- which according to Anita is an abomination to her aesthetic household.
It started six months ago when she took her first step towards his apartment by vowing to be with him forever. The sacred bond of matrimony!
It was all flowers and romance while they got to know each other. But the honeymoon period had to end eventually. And thus began their fights, from small things like breakfast to larger issues about inadequate space. Both couldn’t understand what had hit their matrimonial bliss and the arrow cupid had shot started to feel painful.
The fight tonight was about a similar issue. Naman thought Anita was controlling with her fancy décor items, asking to re-paint the entire house to match her Pinterest board. And Anita couldn’t fathom why a grown man was still so attached to a Marvel figurine. They sat outside for a while, maintaining the cold war till the last minute and went to sleep.
The next day, Anita went to her friend, who was more experienced than her in this manner- as she got married 4 months earlier than Anita. At least, that was Anita’s perception. She blindly trusted her friends- like most of us do. On the afternoon they met, Anita poured her heart out, displaying every emotion in the grief spectrum ranging from utter disbelief to sadness and some guilt. Naina, her friend, made her realize she had to be controlling to get what she wanted from her marriage. She even gave Anita the idea of an ‘ultimatum’- to ask Naman to get rid of all his stuff that Anita isn’t fond of, in exchange for her acceptance.
That is the funny thing about acceptance. People start basing it on conditions. As comical as it might seem, Naman was sitting only 5 km away, talking to his friend who was adamant about convincing Naman to man up and win this cold war.
So the couple came home, and night after night, it was silent dinners, followed by shouting, never-ending demands and a desire on both ends to win.
We seldom realize that we lose out on the most important relationships in life when we become egoistical and fights become more about winning and losing. Someone wise said- if you want to fight to win and lose- go out in the field and leave the beautiful relationships of your life alone.
We let someone else decide what is good or bad for our relationships– despite the fact that our heart knows the best. Naman and Anita could’ve resolved everything in the first few days had they not given others more importance than their spouse inside a relationship that only they can understand. They could’ve been alright if one of them decided to take the first step towards winning this together. And they could’ve been happier if they just had one open and honest conversation away from what society had been telling them to do. But it’s all “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve”. Three words that never benefitted anyone!