As children, we learn that love last forever. And some do. Some relationships grow and mature. Others atrophy, leaving one or both participants in the relationship feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. Drifting away from a loved one can feel confusing and painful. But there are signs that you may have outgrown the relationship.
The Relationship Depletes Rather Than Invigorates
Some relationships become depleting over time. You might notice that you get a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you go to make plans. When the two of you are together, maybe the conversation is all about them or tends to focus on subjects you don’t care much about. In a depleting relationship, you may be asked to do a lot of emotional labor, such as being asked to support them. After hanging out with this person, you may feel exhausted and wrung out. You may feel frustrated or angry but avoid potential conflict.
You Become An Expired Version Of Yourself With Them
Ideally, a relationship grows with you and allows you to be yourself as you are in the moment. But some get stuck in the past, and one or both participants become expired versions of themselves. These types of relationships can feel stifling, like you can’t be who you actually are.
One Person Stops Putting Effort
Sometimes, one person stops putting effort into maintaining the relationship. You make all the plans and follow up to make sure the plans happen. You may always offer to meet closer to them or go to restaurants they prefer. You may check in after big life events but not receive the same consideration. You may request more effort but find that the other person either will not or cannot comply. Alternatively, you may notice that you’re the one no longer putting effort into the relationship. It may feel easier to let the relationship continue rather than have a difficult conversation about where the two of you stand.
You Have Nothing In Common Anymore
You may have outgrown a relationship if you no longer have anything in common. Discussions may feel stilted, jumping from topic to topic or landing on a few limited areas of shared interest. You may feel confused or distressed during each hangout to realize that there isn’t much of a thread between you anymore. Sometimes holding onto a relationship that you’ve outgrown can be more painful, exhausting, and frustrating than mourning the loss and letting the person go.
Also Read: Why do relationships change with time
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