“Pact” in its literal sense means a formal agreement between two parties. But what does a pact mean in a marriage? Does it complicate the strings of a relationship or ease them?
We have always equated pact to compromise and change. But the reality is far different from it. There are distinct kinds of pacts, and one should not attribute the same notion to all of them. It is crucial to remember: Some Pacts, Do Not Have a Bad Impact.
The question that may now bamboozle you would be “in a world of increasing court marriages, how is a formal pact different from a marriage pact?” Well, where a formal pact is one of the two roads that diverge into the woods of married life, a marriage pact is another.
Let us talk about a formal pact also called a court marriage first. Where this pact not only binds one for what our traditions call “seven lives,” in most times, it also establishes a form of a formal relationship between the newlyweds. It is observed that couples do not get enough time to get to know each other through and things hurry, which creates a fine line of questions and confusion in the minds of both the persons in wedlock. Marriage is a test of patience, a portrayal of resistance, and an example of compromise. Any successful marriage rings itself on the grounds of these factors.
Where the formal pact allies a man and a woman, it also creates a hiccup for life. According to Human Psychology, we are more attached and closer to people with whom we are informally bound and not with those to whom we are linked formally. Where there is a sense of formality, it changes reality. Then what does an informal pact look like? Is there a set structure for it?
The answer is, NO. There is no set structure for an informal pact. It is mouldable and can be modified according to every couple’s mutual needs. A marriage is a symbiotic relationship between two people who share the need for a partner to count upon and talk to in their toughest times and happy hours.
Having explored both sides of a (successful) marriage, do we need a pact?
The answer to this may be individualistic, while some couples may believe that having a pact is important some may disapprove of the stance. Quite akin to what a cliché phrase says, “there are no rules in love, war, and game.” While I deem that a pact is not necessary for a relationship, I also staunchly believe that “some pacts, don’t have a bad impact.”
There are many things that a couple might not mutually agree or disagree on. Such differences are natural. They make everyone an individual. In special scenarios like this, having a pact is not harmful. It smoothens the functioning of a relationship and greases it with understanding and respect. When both individuals agree, pacts like these make them even free.
For tips on relations and beyond, visit “The Gottman Institute.”