Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level? Do you think your boo is ‘The One’ and you are ready to tie the knot? It is marvelous if you have someone in your life that you feel you can spend your life with. Obviously, you may feel you know everything about your significant other, but there are still certain things that modern-day couples don’t usually talk about. So we have listed down a few things that both you and your partner should discuss before you both stand at the altar. These subjects will bring clarity for both of you, which is extremely essential for a healthy married life –
- Desirability of Children
Having a child is a huge responsibility and probably the next big thing in one’s life after marriage. It is totally okay if you don’t want to take on that responsibility ever and have a feeling that you will never be ready. It is also totally fine if having children is a significant piece of your dream of a perfect life. The only thing you need to be sure about is that you and your partner are on the same page. You need to convey to your partner where you stand on having kids, do let them know if you are not sure at the current moment or wish to take that decision in the future. Just make sure that your partner clearly knows what you think.
- Financial History and Goals
Talking money has been made a taboo subject in the modern world. But you and your boo must have this talk. Living under one roof together will also bring your finances together. It won’t be just your partner’s money but also their past debt that will become yours in your future life, thus ‘Have the Talk’. Also, discuss your financial goals and what you want for yourself in the future. We will advise you to find a middle ground so that it’s easier for both of you.
- Feelings Towards Your In-laws
Marriage is not just two people deciding to be together, but it is also deciding to be part of each other’s family. You both really need to communicate how you feel about your in-laws and what kind of bond your partner can expect between you and their family. There would definitely be times in the future when you would need to be there for each other’s family, it is important that your partner knows what kind of support they can expect out of you.
- History of Exes
The chances that there were more boos in your partner’s life before you are quite high. You both need to come out clean about your past dating history. Discuss who their exes were, why they broke up, are they still in contact with any of their exes, and if you have met any of their exes. Opening up on this subject will strengthen trust between you two and bring more transparency to the relationship.
- Handling the Conflict
It is extremely unlikely that two people living together can spend their lives without any conflict. The rise of conflict is inevitable, but dealing with that conflict can be discussed beforehand. Talk to your significant other about how they tend to deal with a conflict and what they expect from you. Everyone has a different coping mechanism, and it is essential that you are well aware of each other’s methods. Have a detailed discussion on what triggers them and what helps them calm down so that you both are aware of Dos and Don’ts in a conflict situation.
- Fears That They Fear
This would probably be the most critical conversation you are about to have with your partner. Understanding what scares or triggers your other half the most, is an important aspect of your relationship. Not only does this help you learn about them, in a rational manner, but also allows you to figure out the ways to deal with them. A lot of these fears lead us to feelings of insecurities or possible competition against our partner. It is high time that you discuss these because remember, it is not you both against each other, but you both together, against the problem.
- Inter-Personal Space
Saying “space was just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too close” is a myth. Given that every person has seen their own struggles throughout their life, or might even continue to be stuck in them, one must build empathy towards them and gather the courage to address them in a way that does not look intrusive. While you may think that you could provide the best solution to your partner in case of arising issues, maybe all they are some time to process and think about it, in their own way. This does not mean that they are better off without you or would not like you to be a part of the problem. Instead, this is a sign for them to say that they want you to be there, but not right away.
Marriage is indeed a milestone in your life. More than that, it is an intense emotion that not only two people but two families go through together. It is rightly said that “Love is not enough for a marriage to work.” And this is why both of you must find out reasons to keep rooting out for each other throughout your lives (exactly, throughout). We hope this article broadens your horizons about marriage and helps you make the right decision.