Guide To A Healthy Fight

Fair fighting is a respectful, structured way of confronting each other on issues that are causing conflicts. It is a method for handling and resolving the differences in opinion that inevitably occurs between spouses or partners. At no time should physical harm be considered “fighting fair”.

1. Know Your Own Feelings

Seek self-awareness. Being in touch with your own true feelings is essential before you handle anger or conflict.

2. Anger Is An Emotion– Neither Right Nor Wrong In Itself

There is no morality to feelings. Try to understand what prompted the feeling. Morality comes into play when you take a destructive action as a result of a feeling.

3. Don’t Hit Below The Belt

Everyone has vulnerable areas. Don’t use your confidential knowledge of your partner’s weaknesses and sensitivities to hurt him/her.

4. Don’t Label

Avoid telling your spouse that he/she is neurotic, depressing, or a bore. Rather try making your partner understand the issue in a calmer way.

5. Grant Equal Time

Agree that no resolution of an issue can be presumed until each partner has had the chance to express his/her feelings, ideas, and information.

Apart from these main ones, agree in advance that violence should always be ruled out. Respect the crying part, but do not let crying sidetrack from getting to the real issue causing the conflict.