In close relationships people may, from time to time, wish they could tell exactly how their partners feel about them. Perhaps you and your partner get along reasonably well, but you still wonder whether the relationship is really on an even keel or not. Is there a simple way for you to take your partner’s emotional temperature toward you without having to ask? And, if so, could you use such a quick read-out on a regular basis to track the course of your relationship’s health? Wedding Affair brings you some simple ways to test your relationship’s emotional health.
Holy Grail
Studies show that high-functioning relationships tend to focus on the absence of problems as the most important factors. Couples in these relationships avoid letting disputes devolve into such negative behaviors as being demanding, stubborn, and defensive or, just as bad, avoiding conflict altogether. Yet, if you’re an incurable romantic, you must believe that it takes more for a relationship to last than just a negotiated peace agreement between adversaries.
Positive Feelings
What would those positive feelings be like? Thinking about your own closest relationships, what is it that keeps you feeling good about your partner? Do you tend to feel emotionally connected, believe that your partner cares about you (and vice versa), and that you can read each other’s signals with almost perfect accuracy? Do you, as the expression goes, “finish each other’s sentences”? Could your partner read the slump of your shoulders as a sign that you had a bad day?
Interpersonal Connectedness
You can also assess the positivity resonance between the you and your partner. This resonance captures interpersonal connectedness. The authors proposed that a sense of connectedness would reflect a holistic synthesis of shared positive affect, mutual care and concern, and synchrony of nonverbal behavior.
Ask Questions
Now ask yourself which of these would apply to the latest disagreement with your partner, thinking not about your partner alone, but about the interaction between the two of you: Showing humor at the same time, Tilting your heads at the same time, Using terms of endearment, Talking in affectionate tones of voice. Each of these alone would count as positivity resonance. To up your resonance, you would not just smile but would laugh out loud, mirror each other’s head movements at least two times, talk affectionately for at least 15 seconds, and use terms of endearment two times or more.
