Couple counseling is a secret weapon for building a long-lasting and healthy relationship.
If you think that couple counseling is only for couples who are seeking to redeem their failing relationship, you could not be more wrong. Couples counseling is more than just the last chance of revival of an almost-fallen relationship, it is for anyone who wants to improve vital parts of their love.
To improve communication, to deepen emotional bonds and to simply learn how to fight in a way that’s not inspired by any reality TV show, every couple should try couple counseling some time or other. If you are planning to get some professional help for your relationship, you might need to know some things beforehand that no one will tell you. Here are 10 things that you need to know before trying couples counseling.
The “Problem” Might Be You
Most of the people who walk into marriage therapy think that it is their partner who has the issue. But the reality can be a bit different. It can be you who needs to change. Shocking, I know. But a good therapist will never validate your complaints, instead, they will help you both see the reality, exposing your toxic traits, blind spots and emotional baggage you didn’t know you had.
Therapy Is Not Meant to “Fix” Anyone
If you are living in the delusion that your therapist is some sort of magician who will make your partner romantic or understanding, let me break the bubble for you. Couple counseling doesn’t aim to change you or your partner, rather it helps you both understand each other better and work together as a team.
Some Awkward Moments Are Bound to Happen
There will be moments in your marriage therapy where things will get more than a little awkward. Long silences, tears, unexpected opinions from your partner—all these are common in a professional session. Don’t forget that therapy is designed to bring underlying issues to the surface which is not always comfortable.
It’s Not About Fixing Your Relationship
Sometimes couples counseling makes people realise that they are not compatible with each other. It’s not always a happy ending at the end. And it is completely okay. Therapy will provide partners with more clarity and help them move on with life in a healthy way.
You Have to Actually Put in the Work
Couples counseling is not going to fix your love life by itself. With your therapist’s effort and help, you need to work on your relationship. Do the exercise your therapist gives you, and practice the communication techniques and strategies.
Read Also: Premarital Communication: What to Discuss Before Marriage
Therapist Are Unbiased
How wonderful would it be if your therapist would just point a finger at your partner and support every accusation you have? Well, it is not like that. Marriage therapists are meant to remain neutral, helping both of you see each other’s point of view.
It’s a Slow Process
Couples counseling is a slow and long process. You can’t expect your relationship to magically solve overnight after a session or two. It takes weeks of work, and even after when it feels like a breakthrough, it can take unexpected time.
You’ll Learn Your Partner in a New Way
Even if you have been with your partner for years, couples counselling may enlighten you with new things about them that can be eye-opening. Don’t be surprised if you find something completely unexpected and shocking.
Laughing Is Completely Normal in Therapy
Couples counseling is not all gloomy. There will be some light moments sometimes, bringing a burst of laughter or two out. Humour is also a great way to ease tension. So, laugh at it.
Change Is Going to Happen
Therapy will shake things up. It will make you feel uncomfortable, show you things in a new light. And at the end of it, there will be change, for better or for worse.
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A healthy and happy relationship is not always a bed full of roses. You need to face some problems sooner or later, and couples counseling is a great way to face it or to be prepared. Go with an open mind for the best result. Follow Wedding Affair for more love and relationship advice.
