Wondering if the person you are dating is the one? These are the signs you need to look for in your relationship.
We’ve all been there, besties. Being awake at 2 AM questioning whether this individual you’re with is truly “the one” or whether you’re simply swept up in the thrill of something new. Hollywood and Bollywood have sold us on this notion that you’ll simply “know” when you find your soulmate, with music swelling and perfect timing. But real life? It’s more complicated, it’s messier, and quite frankly, more lovely than any film could possibly do justice to!
The thing is, determining whether he is your forever person is not about dramatic epiphanies or lightning bolt moments. It’s about noticing the little, mundane things that really count when you’re living with him. So let’s discuss what the actual signs are that go so much deeper than merely feeling butterflies each time he texts you back in this blog created by our team at Wedding Affair.
Table of Contents
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He Shows Up When It Matters (And When It Doesn’t)
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Your Values Actually Align (Not Just Your Interests)
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Communication Flows Naturally (Even During Disagreements)
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He Enhances Your Life Without Becoming Your Entire Life
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Your Friends and Family Actually Like Him (And Vice Versa)
He Shows Up When It Matters (And When It Doesn’t)
The “one” isn’t only there for the grand gestures, although that certainly counts and we are not asking you to settle for something less than what you deserve. He’s the one who arrives when you have food poisoning and feel completely horrid, soup in hand, sitting to ensure that you’re alright. He’s there for your company presentation that you’ve been nervous about for weeks, and he’s there for the miscellaneous Tuesday that you just need someone to tell you to shut up about your day.
Consistency is key. Anyone can be incredible during the honeymoon stage or when everything’s going smoothly. But the individual you want to spend your lifetime with is the one who decides to show up even when it’s not convenient, even when you’re not doing your best, and even when there’s nothing thrilling on the horizon. It’s about the consistency that establishes trust in the long run.
Notice the way he navigates the mundane moments. Does he recall that you despise doing laundry and do it for you? Does he phone during high-stress work times? These aren’t over-the-top courtship moves, but they’re the building blocks of a relationship that will endure actual life.
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Your Values Actually Align (Not Just Your Interests)
Of course, it’s great when you both enjoy the same Netflix series or both love going on hikes. But those interests are only skin deep. What matters most is whether your values align and this extends far beyond agreeing over whether or not pineapple should be on pizza.
We’re discussing the big things: How do you both understand money and financial responsibility? How do you understand family, career values, and personal development? How do you manage conflict and disagreement? Do you share similar concepts of what a committed relationship looks like?
You don’t have to be the same on every belief, but there needs to be some core agreement on the stuff that actually influences the way you want to live your life. The guy who’s constantly going on about how he wants to see the world and live in the moment may not be right for someone whose top priority is planting roots in their hometown and that’s fine, but it’s crucial to see those differences right off the bat.
The right person will push you to evolve without disrespecting your fundamental beliefs and boundaries. You should feel that you’re learning to become a better version of yourself, not that you’re constantly trying to fit into the other person’s idea of who you ought to be.
Communication Flows Naturally (Even During Disagreements)
Here’s something no one discusses enough: the right person won’t take conflict out of your life, but they will transform conflict so it doesn’t feel like a battle where somebody has to win and somebody has to lose. Instead, it feels like a problem that you’re working on together.
You should be able to discuss everything with him, like your nightmares, your aspirations, your bizarre family lives, your job pressure, without fear of judgment or belittling. But most importantly, he has to do the same with you. True intimacy is founded on emotional honesty and not physical desire. Observe how he reacts when you mention something that’s annoying you. Does he immediately become defensive, or does he listen and try to see things from your point of view? Does he create a sense of safety where you can be vulnerable, or do you feel like you have to tread carefully around certain issues?
The right person will make you feel heard, even when you disagree. You’ll find yourselves having those late-night conversations that start with something simple and end up covering everything from childhood memories to future dreams. These moments of connection are what sustain relationships through difficult times.
He Enhances Your Life Without Becoming Your Entire Life
This is a biggie: the other person should complement your happiness and not be your sole source of it. If you find yourself losing yourself and struggling to operate independently of him, then that is not love, that’s codependency.
With the right individual, you hold on to your friendships, your interests, your professional goals, and your personal aspirations. He promotes these aspects rather than vying with them for your attention. You should feel more yourself when you are around him, not less.
Pay attention to how he talks about your other relationships and interests. Does he encourage your friendships and respect your need for alone time? Is he genuinely interested in your career and personal growth? The right partner will be your biggest cheerleader, not someone who feels threatened by your success or other relationships.
You must be able to spend time apart and really miss one another, but also be completely comfortable on your own and doing your own thing. A good relationship consists of two complete individuals deciding to make something together, not two halves struggling to make each other whole.
Your Friends and Family Actually Like Him (And Vice Versa)
While you should not pick a partner based on what other people think, it is also important to note when those closest to you are concerned or when they happen to be really into the person you are seeing.
The ones that care about you have known you in previous relationships. They are aware of your habits, your blind spots, and what makes you a happy person. When they persistently raise concerns about a date, it may be worth taking a hard look at whether you’re ignoring red flags because you’re too excited about a new relationship.
On the other hand, when you meet the right person, you’ll likely realize that it will come naturally and be a thrill for you to introduce him to your family and friends instead of being a source of stress. You won’t find yourself having to excuse his actions or control the way he treats the people you’re close to.
The right man will try to relate to your people because he knows they matter to you. He doesn’t need to be best buddies with everyone, but there must be respect for one another and real interest in learning about each other.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
Knowing whether a person is “the one” isn’t about grand gestures or ideal timing. It’s about having someone who shows up every day as a partner, with whom you have a common vision for the future, and with whom you feel like the best version of yourself. Have faith in the process, stay focused on the mundane moments, and keep in mind that the greatest relationships are based on friendship, respect, and true compatibility. When you meet someone who ticks these marks on a regular basis over time, then you’ll know you’ve found something worth holding onto.
