Are you suspecting that your partner is going to propose? Have you been contemplating whether your relationship is ready to venture forth to the next step? Are you wishing for a marriage with your partner? If the answer to all these questions is yes, then you must think about a few of the everlasting changes that come with marriage.
Marriage is definitely an irrevocable step that can be described as life-altering at best. The decision to get married can be stressful and anxiety-inducing. However, don’t need to fret. We have devised a list of things you must consider before saying “I do” to get hitched.
1. Are you ready for marriage?
As aforementioned, marriage is an everlasting change that stays with you throughout your life. It entails the willful decision of staying with a different family altogether. Adapting to a completely new environment and making all those new relationships work. It can be exhausting at first but is extremely rewarding in a gradual sense. So, you need to ask yourself this first and foremost, are you ready for this kind of commitment?
2. Are you financially prepared?
This question must be one of the most prioritizing questions to ask yourselves. Are you or your partner surmounting any kinds of debt? Are you both financially stable enough to take care of a family? These questions are extremely vital to discuss with your partner. Also to decipher how much monetary contribution will you both be making to support the life you’ve envisioned to lead. These conversations can be a deal maker or breaker in the end.
3. Are you willing to share the rest of your life with someone?
You are going to live with another person altogether, for the rest of your life. Do you both share the emotional compatibility enough to make the marriage work? Is there going to be enough room for your individuality to prosper? These are some pivotal discussions you absolutely need to have with your partner and observe their stance.
4. Does you and your partner’s ideologies about politics and religion incline?
It may sound unnecessary but if your ideologies about politics and religion do not incline with your partner’s then there is going to be a massive clash of opinions. Such recurring clashes may lead to deteriorating your relationship with your partner. So, although this may not be a defining factor, it is certainly an important one to consider.
5. What is your stance about having kids?
If not immediately, you would be expected to grow your family and raise children. This question really needs to be one of the key factors to consider. Because in Indian traditions, the pressure to bear and raise children is immense. So you need to discuss this with your partner and make sure you both are on the same page.
6. Are you willing to be a homemaker or would you like to work after marriage?
In this day and age when a sound career means everything to lead a successful life, it becomes tricky to decide if being a stay-at-home-person or parent is going to be fulfilling enough for you or your partner. Ask your partner about their point of view before you make your decision. Because keeping up with unruly expectations is not the way you’d want to spend the rest of your life.
7. Do your and your partner’s values match?
It is absolutely not necessary for both your values to match to a T. There are always going to be differences because you’re both individuals with individualistic perspectives. However, if the basic valuable ecosystem of you and your partner does not match then there can be some serious clashes headed your way. But there’s nothing a polite and straightforward conversation cannot fix.
8. How are your partner’s relations with their family and how will that affect your relationship with your in-laws?
Your relationship with your in-laws solely rests upon your spouse’s relationship with them. It is going to have a direct impact on the environment you’re living in. Some nominal fights are healthy in each relationship but if those nominal fights continue each day, then it causes a rift between families. This is why, we strongly suggest you discuss what your partner’s relationship with their parents looks like.
9. What kind of traditional customs will you both adhere to as a family?
Be it celebrating festivals or weekly gatherings with your loved ones, every family adheres to their own personalized set of customs that they like to follow. This question has a direct relation with what sort of religious beliefs your partner and their family follows. You need to see if your partner’s religious beliefs work in harmony with your own religious beliefs. And hence, the traditional customs that follow.
10. How demanding are your jobs and how will they affect both your lifestyles?
Your jobs take up a major chunk of your daily life. It is going to be tricky to find out ways to handle the stress of managing a household along with performing your job. Are you ready for that sort of multitasking? How your partner is going to help you with managing the lifestyle you both aspire for? This is also one of the vital questions to ask your to-be-life partner.
11. How supportive is your partner when it comes to your career?
This question is directly interlinked with if you would like to stay as a homemaker or make a career for yourself. If you are sure that you want to build a stable career for yourself, support from your partner matters a lot. Because you two would be sharing a life together, their support can make or break your prospering career. So discuss this with them for sure.
12. What are both of your attachment styles?
The attachment styles depict the trauma we went through during childhood. It also portrays what we seek in terms of intimacy, in terms of our expectations from our partners, and many more things. There are plenty of quizzes available on the internet that would tell you about your attachment styles. It also paves the way to strike up a healthy conversation about getting to know each other better.
These are some of the rudimentary questions that must ponder over and also discuss with your partner. These questions can work as an efficient guide to help you determine whether you’re ready for a marital commitment or not. There are a lot of other questions that you may ask your to-be-life partner, however, we sincerely hope that these questions provided you with a much-deserved insight.