Embarrassment doesn’t have to come in between you and your partner. Sharing sex fantasies can open the door to new levels of intimacy.
If you are someone who is terrified by the thought of sharing your sex fantasies with your partner, you are not alone. Sex as a topic has always been taboo, and to talk about it openly is not easy. People feel vulnerable and exposed talking about sex, even with their partners. Sharing sex fantasies means voicing your needs and wants in bed. And it is not easy for everyone. Especially if you feel that your desires don’t align with your partner’s, you may feel embarrassed discussing your sex fantasies.
But it is necessary to share your sex fantasies with your partner in order to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. Intimacy is a result of two persons’ efforts. If you are looking for some actually helpful advice to share your sex fantasies with your partner, you have come to the right place. Here are 6 pieces of advice you need, from Team Wedding Affair.
You’re not weird for having sex fantasies
It is natural for a sexual being to have fantasies. It is not gross or creepy. Everyone has some kind of fantasy they want to explore with their lover. The brain is always curious, and it also happens to be the most erogenous zone in the human body. Often it generates thoughts that we call sex fantasies, and there is nothing wrong or unnatural with it.
Understand your goal
Just because you are thinking of certain sex fantasies it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want them to happen. This is why it can be very helpful to talk to your partner about fantasies. Before bringing it up, figure out what you want from this conversation. Do you want to create a stronger bond or do you want to spice things up in the bedroom?
Don’t put pressure on your partner
If you have crossed the dreadful stage of voicing your sex fantasies to your partner, the next step is to give them some room to think. Pressuring them to fulfil your fantasies ASAP is a big no-no. Instead, ask how they feel about it. It’s also a great opportunity to know their deepest desires which they want to share with you.
Be prepared for a reaction
It can be positive, it can be negative. It also can be a mix of both good and bad. Your partner can have any number of reactions when you tell them about your sex fantasies. Don’t have any expectations about how they will react. Be ready for reactions that can hurt your feelings a bit too, like uninterested or disgusted. Let them react and understand the reason behind it.
If your sex fantasy is too dark…
This is one thought that occupies everyone’s mind while talking about sex fantasies. The definition of dark fantasy and what’s right or wrong differ from person to person. The idea of right and wrong regarding sex comes from pop culture which exposes us to pretty vanilla things. This is why sex fantasies that are not mainstream seem to be unnatural and dark.
Seek professional help
Don’t know where to draw the line between dark sex fantasies that are okay to explore and one that will take you to a professional therapist? As long as your thoughts are not hurting anyone in real life, it is absolutely fine to have sex fantasies. Understand the line between fantasising and actually acting on it. If your fantasy is hurting someone without their consent, that’s the point of seeing a professional.
Read More: Relationship Tips: Coping with Mismatched Sex Drive
Being a good lover also means trying to understand each other’s preferences in intimacy. Know their needs, wants and feelings. Empathise with your partner, share your sex fantasies and have a healthy relationship.
