Do you often feel there is no sexual intimacy between you and your partner in the bedroom? Do you have more of a sexless marriage? Are frustration, loneliness, and dissatisfaction some of the constant thoughts in your bedroom? If your answer is yes, then you might be dealing with the ‘Dead Bedroom’ situation with your partner. The topic of husband-wife sexless marriage is not something new and you are not the only one dealing with this issue.
What Is A ‘Dead Bedroom’?
A “dead bedroom” is one where sexual activity between spouses occurs infrequently or never. It is not a diagnostic; it is an informal word. Usually, one partner has a stronger sex desire than the other, which often leads to conflict and arguments. It eventually results in irritation, loneliness, and relationship unhappiness.
Causes Of A Dead Bedroom
As a relationship moves from the honeymoon stage into a long-term engagement, the excitement or sex drive reduces drastically. This witnesses the beginning of a dead bedroom. If a couple lacks the communication skills to handle this change, there will be a rise in sexual tensions. Stress, tiredness, relationship problems, sexual dissatisfaction and mental health issues are some causes that result in a dead bedroom.
Ways To Wake A Dead Bedroom
1. Take A Stand And Initiate The Conversation
The best way to deal with a problem is to acknowledge it and find ways to cure it. Discuss this issue with your partner at the right time. Avoid bringing up this issue during a fight. Letting your partner know how you feel will fix this scenario to a certain extent.
2. Embrace The Desire For Imbalance
It is completely alright to not have the same sex drive as your partner. You need to embrace the uneven sexual desire and learn how to work with it. You can convey your needs to the partner in the most compassionate way understanding their side of the story as well.
3. Focus On What Is Good About Sex
Focus on the positive aspects of sex rather than the negative aspects to help the conversation flow more easily. For instance, try expressing “I love you and want to feel close to you again” rather than “You never want to have sex anymore.” Do not focus on the frequency of the sex rather emphasizing on the quality, enjoy the moment to the fullest.
4. Rebuild Emotional Intimacy
A lack of emotional intimacy will almost always lead to a lack of sexual intimacy. Sexual desire requires a low-stress, intensely affectionate atmosphere to truly flourish. And one of the best ways to do that is to work on your emotional connection.
5. Physical Affection Goes A Long Way
Less cuddling, less kissing, less hand-holding, and less everyday touch impact your sexual life as it reduces the affection between you and your partner. Affectionate touches are a crucial step in reviving a dead bedroom.
6. Consult A Specialist
Seeing a therapist or couples counsellor may be helpful if people you are having trouble discussing sex or doing so in a productive manner. They can offer you insights and advices to solve your problems and bring stability to your sexual life.