Why One Shouldn’t Fear An Arranged Marriage


In India, arranged marriages are still very common. Most people are still very keen on taking the arranged marriage route. It is considered to be the conventional choice, as people are still bound by caste, regional and religious identities and differences. By default, it becomes the marriage of choice. Arranged marriages are wrapped in traditional wisdom of ages past and decked in the notion that they are, indeed, the sensible option. But times are a-changing and this  slow change is accommodating the rising trend of love marriages. The youth are enamoured by the concept of love marriages and many are of the belief that falling in love and getting married is the smarter choice. While many are open to the idea and concept of an arranged marriage, many are still afraid of getting into arrangements which are made by their parents or other members of the family.

However, as an institution, arranged marriages are not to be feared. They have many advantages and should be seen in a positive light. There is a reason this institution has sustained for so long.

Arranged by parents

It is, after all, arranged by your parents – who have your best interests at heart. They would never make a bad choice for you or force someone into your life who is uncouth or uncaring. They want you to settle down with a good person, who will love, respect  and take care of you. They will carefully select someone who belongs to your stratum of society and will be invested in seeing you grow as a person. They would never compromise on the quality of person they are selecting because they know you inside-out and would want to choose a person who is compatible with you in the long run.

Arranged marriages are not forced marriages

Arranged marriages are not forced marriages. Your parents will introduce you to someone and it is then up to you to take the relationship forward. You will get the opportunity to be introduced to someone special, who may/may not have the qualities you personally desire in someone. It is up to you to assess that person and decide whether you should pursue the arrangement. This would mean a dimension of personal choice is involved. It is not that the institution is arbitrarily thrust down upon you. You are the master of your fate, and the captain of your ship. You merely have the luxury of being introduced to a  human being by your parents or relatives. After that, you can choose whether to steer the ship in the direction of marriage or abandon it mid-way.

Financial stability is the key

Your parents will obviously have your financial interests in mind as well. They would consider your  salary as a key component in deciding whether your partner is compatible with you. This is true for both genders. You might be wondering whether that is enough but that is indeed a crucial factor in choosing a partner for life. Money makes the world go round – in more ways than one! Financial stability connotes the ability to meet your needs and wants. If the partner is financially stable, a lot of problems automatically disappear. You will feel safer, happier and confident by the thought of being with someone who rises to provide you with the essentials of life. Luxuries or not, certain needs will be met. This does not mean being materialistic but it does mean being realistic.

Romance does not fly out the window

Just because you are opting for an arranged marriage does not mean that there will be no romance in your life! Romance and arranged marriages are not opposed to each other by principle. You can find love after marriage just as you find love before marriage. Romance and love are not characteristic of love marriages alone. Often, hidden romantic sparks inside people are triggered by meeting the right person. You just have to be open to the idea that the domain of romance is a large and mysterious one and cannot be predicted at a mere glance or through the channels of what is conventionally known as ‘falling in love”. Romance is unpredictable and can be found in the most remote of places, in the most unexpected moments and by mere chance also!

Hence, one should not be scared of arranged marriages. Embrace them as an opportunity of getting to meet someone introduced by formal channels but that someone can change your life, if you let them!